James 3

Summary

Pastor Daren Mehl led the congregation through the sobering reality of the tongue’s destructive potential and its connection to the heart’s condition. Drawing from the epistle’s warning that not many should become teachers due to stricter judgment, Pastor Daren emphasized that the tongue cannot be tamed by human effort but only by yielding to the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. Our words, he taught, are a window into the wisdom we follow, either earthly and demonic or from above, characterized by purity, peace, and humility. He reminded the church that the goal is not external eloquence but internal transformation, with sanctified speech serving as evidence of a sanctified heart. This message harmonized the call to personal accountability with the hope of spiritual maturity in Christ, urging believers to submit their speech to the lordship of Jesus as an act of reverent discipleship.

Opening Prayer

Heavenly Father, we come to You with open hearts, asking that You prepare us to receive Your truth. Lord Jesus, we thank You for the grace that teaches and sanctifies us. Holy Spirit, convict us in love, teach us the truth from the Word, especially in the area of our speech. May this time of reflection lead to repentance, sanctification, and deeper reverence for God and may we grow in knowledge that transforms our hearts. Teach us to be hungry for Your Word, humble in our hearts, and teachable in spirit. Amen.

Ice Breakers

Think of a time you said something you instantly regretted. What happened, and how did you respond afterward? (Keep it light, funny stories welcome.)
Can you think of a time someone’s words had a lasting impact on you – positively or negatively? How did it shape your outlook or decisions?

Key Verses

These verses are central to Pastor Daren’s call to be mindful of our speech. They contrast the destructive potential of the tongue with the gentle fruit of heavenly wisdom, anchoring the believer in Christlike maturity.

James 3:1 (NASB95) – “Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.”
- Life Group Leader Note: Pastor Daren emphasized the gravity of teaching God’s Word and the accountability it carries. This verse sets the tone for the responsibility of our speech. Pastor Daren also reflected on his own calling and the fear of the Lord in rightly dividing the Word.
James 3:5-6 (NASB95) – “So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity.”
- Note: This illustrates the destructive potential of careless or evil speech, likening it to wildfire fueled by hell and our need for God to intervein.
James 3:8 (NASB95) – “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.”
- Note: The helplessness of man in controlling the tongue apart from God’s intervention was a central point in the sermon.
James 3:17-18 (NASB95) -”But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
- Note: This verse concludes the chapter with hope and a charge to cultivate speech that bears righteousness.
Matthew 12:36-37 (NASB95) – “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
- Note: Jesus’ solemn warning about the eternal weight of every word we speak. Emphasized the judgment associated with speech, bringing gravity to how we speak as believers.

Supporting Verses

These texts support the sermon’s focus on aligning speech with spiritual maturity and Christlike love.

Proverbs 18:21 (NASB95) – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
- Our words shape life and death, reflecting the spiritual significance of speech.
Matthew 5:22 (NASB95) – “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”
- Jesus links contemptuous speech with judgment, showing the gravity of verbal sin.
Isaiah 6:5–7 (NASB95) – “Then I said, ‘Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of armies.’ Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs. He touched my mouth with it and said, ‘Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and atonement is made for your sin.'”
- Isaiah’s encounter with God reveals the necessity of divine cleansing for holy speech.
Ezekiel 36:26 (NASB95) – “Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”
- A new heart from God is the foundation for transformed speech and life.
Luke 6:45 (NASB95) – “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil person out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.”
- Words are the fruit of the heart; the tongue reveals the soul’s condition.
Psalm 141:3 (NASB95) – “Set a guard, LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
- A model prayer for God’s help in bridling our speech.
Ephesians 4:29 (NASB95) – “Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”
- Instruction for redemptive, grace-filled communication.
John 12:49 (NASB95) – “For I did not speak on My own, but the Father Himself who sent Me has given Me a commandment as to what to say and what to speak.”
- Jesus modeled complete submission in speech to the Father’s will.
James 1:26 (NASB95) – “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue…”
- Reinforces the theme of speech reflecting spiritual maturity.

Sermon Topics

The Weight of Teaching and Speech

Pastor Daren opened with a sober reflection on James 3:1, reminding us that teachers are held to a higher standard because words shape others’ faith. He illustrated the gravity with the image of a surgeon’s scalpel—just as a small misstep in surgery can harm a patient, so can false or careless teaching damage souls. Pastor Daren reflected on the responsibility of teaching the Word and the stricter judgment it entails. Teaching is not about performance but stewardship before God.

Scriptures: James 3:1; Luke 12:48

Pastor Daren Quotes:

“The word is sharper than a two-edged sword… and James 3 is really going to be driving us to a heart issue.”
“It hit me between the eyes… let not many of you become teachers.”
“Being up at the pulpit isn’t just an opportunity; it’s a weight.”

Discussion Questions:

Why does God hold teachers to a higher standard?
What should be the heart posture of anyone who teaches God’s Word?
What role does humility play in teaching Scripture?
How does this affect how we view pastors and teachers in our own church?
How can the church body support its teachers?
What might be some modern-day examples of misuse of the tongue in teaching?
How does fear of the Lord lead to faithful teaching?
What does it mean to be ‘called’ to teach versus ‘wanting’ to teach?
How can we pray for those who carry this weight?

The Power Of The Tongue

Our words reflect the deeper condition of our hearts. James shows that the tongue is small but disproportionately powerful—capable of great destruction if left unchecked. Like a rudder or a spark, the tongue can direct the whole body or burn down an entire life. No one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil. The tongue, though small, has massive power to direct lives. Like a ship’s rudder or a horse’s bit, it sets the course—but it can also set wildfires. The tongue reveals the condition of the heart. But the Spirit of God can sanctify our speech when we surrender our hearts.

Scriptures: James 3:3-12; Proverbs 18:21
Pastor Daren Quotes:

“You can’t fake this. The tongue reveals what’s in your heart.”
“Though no man can tame the tongue, Jesus through the Holy Spirit leads us into sanctified speech.”
“Our words reveal our heart and direction.”
“Our words direct the course of our families, our jobs… and even the church.”

Discussion Questions:

Why is it impossible for man to tame the tongue alone?
In what ways have you seen your words hurt or heal?
What are signs that someone’s tongue is under sanctification?
How does Jesus model holy speech?
How can the Life Group encourage each other in this?
How have your words shaped the direction of your life?
What habits encourage godly speech?
How can we avoid setting ‘fires’ with our tongues?
What role does the Holy Spirit play in bridling our tongues?
When have you seen healing come through someone’s words?
Why is our speech such a powerful indicator of our spiritual maturity?
How have your words affected someone for good—or for harm—recently?
Why do we often underestimate the damage caused by unguarded speech?
What does it look like to “tame the tongue” in everyday relationships?
How can we invite the Holy Spirit into the way we speak?
Taming the Tongue is Impossible Without Christ
No man can tame the tongue, but Christ can. The tongue is described as full of deadly poison. Self-effort fails; only a new heart from God brings new speech.

Scripture: James 3:9-12; Ezekiel 36:26; Psalm 141:3

Pastor Daren Quotes

“Our tongue doesn’t need better training. It needs a new nature.”
“We worship God on Sunday… but are we cursing people when we leave this building?”
“A fig tree doesn’t bear olives… and a mouth shouldn’t bless and curse.”
“The tongue reveals the condition of the heart.”

Discussion Questions

Why is self-effort insufficient for taming the tongue?
How do we make room for the Holy Spirit in sanctifying our speech?
What does it mean to surrender our speech to Christ?
How can we recognize when our words are rooted in the flesh?
Why is prayer vital in transforming our communication?
How do we detect double-mindedness in our speech?
What does true repentance look like in this area?
How can our speech be consistent throughout the week?
What disciplines renew our heart for pure speech?
How does hypocrisy in speech affect our witness?
What examples can you think of where someone’s speech betrayed their heart?
How does hypocrisy in speech damage our witness?
What does James suggest is the root of this problem?
How can we be more aware of how our speech reflects our heart?
How do we repent and change in this area?

Heavenly Wisdom Vs. Earthly (Demonic) Wisdom

James 3 sets up a contrast: earthly wisdom leads to jealousy and disorder, while wisdom from above is pure and peaceable. Pastor Daren warned against “being clever with words” and called us to live out meekness and peace, not pride and performance. Worldly wisdom is driven by jealousy and selfish ambition. It is earthly, natural, demonic, and brings disorder. Heavenly wisdom, however, is pure, peaceable, gentle, full of mercy, and bears fruit. Pastor Daren taught that true wisdom is proven not by cleverness but by godly conduct.

Scripture: James 3:13-18
Pastor Daren Quotes:

“It’s not about sounding spiritual. It’s about walking in wisdom.”
“The wisdom from above doesn’t need to prove itself with pride. It’s gentle. It listens.”
“Bitter jealousy and selfish ambition are like an acid—they eat through unity in the body.”
“This isn’t just about what you say, it’s about how you live. Wisdom shows up in your choices.”
“Peacemakers sow peace and reap righteousness. That’s God’s kind of wisdom—others-centered and fruitful.”

Discussion Questions

What’s the difference between earthly and heavenly wisdom?
What traits define heavenly wisdom, and which do you find most challenging?
How can we identify when jealousy or selfish ambition is shaping our words?
In what ways have you seen selfish ambition create disorder in your relationships or church?
In what ways is heavenly wisdom shown through our conduct?
How does your conduct reflect your wisdom?
How do humility and peace show up in our relationships?
When have you witnessed wisdom that was truly “from above”?
How can we actively pursue peaceable and merciful wisdom in daily life?
What does it mean to be a peacemaker who sows in righteousness?

Sanctification Includes the Tongue

Pastor Daren emphasized that we cannot tame the tongue by willpower—it must be surrendered to the Lordship of Christ. Sanctification is the process of heart transformation that inevitably affects speech.

Pastor Daren Quote: “Sanctification is the work of God in us—and the tongue is included in that.”

Discussion Questions:

Why is it so hard to control the tongue?
What role does repentance play when we speak wrongly?
How is our speech a barometer for our walk with Christ?
In what ways do our words reflect our sanctification journey?
How can we use our words to edify rather than destroy?

Group Prayer Points

Pray for conviction and repentance in areas where speech has been careless or harmful.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal areas of unclean talk or gossip.
Ask God for wisdom that is “first pure, then peaceable.”
Pray that each person would be sanctified in heart and tongue.
Ask the Holy Spirit to guide speech that brings life, not division.
Thank God for His grace and patience in transforming our hearts and communication.
Pray for hearts to be humbled before God’s Word about speech.
Pray for your church’s teachers and preachers to walk in reverent truth.
Ask God for grace to speak words of life, not death, in your families.
Invite the Spirit to renew your heart so that your words overflow with Christ’s truth.

Prayer Examples

Lord, reveal any unclean speech in us and give us a heart of repentance.
Teach us to use our words to build up, not tear down.
Help us submit our tongue to the Lordship of Christ.
Let our group be marked by gentle, Spirit-led conversation.
Create in us a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within us.

Challenges for the Week

Identify a situation where you tend to speak hastily or selfishly. Pause and ask God for wisdom before responding. Write down what happens. Be a peace sower. Let your words be seeds of righteousness and healing.
Examine the source of your words. Are they springing from a renewed heart or a bitter root? Be hungry for the Word, humble in repentance, and teachable by the Spirit. Surrender your speech to Christ daily.
Be intentional with your words. Choose to speak life, encouragement, and truth. When you’re tempted to react or vent, pause and pray. Stay hungry for God’s ways, humble in your speech, and teachable when corrected.

Closing Prayer

Father, we thank You for Your Word that pierces and heals. Jesus, we confess our need for Your grace in how we speak. Holy Spirit, write Your law on our hearts and let our words reflect Your fruit. Train our tongues to build up, not tear down. Give us a hunger for righteousness, a humility to receive correction, and a teachable spirit to grow.

Lord God, we thank You for the truth of James 3. We tremble at the weight of our words and the responsibility of our influence. Jesus, sanctify our hearts and mouths. Holy Spirit, lead us into the wisdom from above. May our lives be gentle, peaceable, and full of mercy. We commit to live hungry for Your Word, humble before Your authority, and teachable in Your truth. May we walk in wisdom and be known as peacemakers, bearing fruit for Your kingdom. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Devotionals

Day 1: The Tongue’s Power
Read James 3:5-6. Reflect on a time your words had great impact—for good or for harm. Pray for wisdom to use your tongue to bless today.
Challenge: Journal three ways you can speak life this week.

Day 2: The Root of Words
Read Matthew 15:18. Our words come from the overflow of the heart. What’s overflowing from yours?
Challenge: Ask the Lord to examine your heart and cleanse it.

Day 3: Wisdom from Above
Read James 3:17-18. Meditate on each trait of heavenly wisdom.
Challenge: Choose one trait (e.g., peaceable) and live it out today in your speech.

Day 4: A Controlled Tongue is a Mature Faith
Read James 3:2. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.
Challenge: When tempted to gossip or complain, pray first. Choose silence if needed.

Day 5: Encouraging Others Through Speech
Read Ephesians 4:29. Be a person whose words build up.
Challenge: Intentionally encourage someone with specific, uplifting words today.

ADDITIONAL STUDY

Part 1: Read and Meditate On
James 3:1-18
Matthew 12:33-37
Write Short Reflections:
“How do my words align with my calling as a disciple?”

Part 2: Study of Christian Thought
Read: “Your Words Reveal Your Heart” by Steffen Mueller
https://learn.ligonier.org/devotionals/your-words-reveal-your-heart
Reflection Assignment:
Write a one-paragraph summary of how the gospel transforms speech.

Part 3: Theological Reflection on Wisdom
Study: “Greatness, Humility, Servanthood” by John Piper
https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/greatness-humility-servanthood
Writing Assignment:
Discuss how humility and heavenly wisdom must shape church leadership and discipleship.

Part 4: Prayer and Declaration Practice
Prayer: Ask God for continual growth in speech and wisdom.
Write: A list of three areas where you want your speech to grow in holiness.
Read: Psalm 19:14 — “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.”